beceh: (isolde alone)
[personal profile] beceh
 You know, sometimes I wish I could just flick through my life like a book. Read my biography, cheat and read the last few pages... before going back and reading it properly... Although whenever I do that with actual books I always make the wrong assumptions, so maybe it's not such a good idea. 

Would you want to know the future?

One of Elisa's aunts told her to be careful for the next few years because the choices we make in our twenties usually affect the rest of our lives, moreso than any other point in our life. Of course this isn't true for everyone... but it is for a lot of people. They pick their spouse, their career, where they live.... kind of weird to think about. I think it might be getting a little less relevant these days though with people taking a lot longer to grow up and make these major decisions. 

Compare my parents generation to mine - many of them married their first long-term partner in their early-mid twenties. They started working in a field and made a career out of it for 30-40 years. These days we go through 3, 4, 5 long-term relationships, we jump around careers, we stay at home for longer and longer.... 

Hmm I don't know where I'm going with this. 

Sometimes I wish I knew where I'll end up, and who I'll end up with... like there is some conclusion. But isn't life just a journey? Why am I searching for a WHO all the time. I am really enjoying my time with Keenan at the moment, would it make it any more or less special if I knew that we were going to break up in a few months/years/whenever, or if I'd spend the rest of my life with him? I don't know. 

I can't spend my life always waiting, wanting something more. Need to live in the now, now is all there is. 

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beceh

December 2011

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